The Lost Art of Being Fabulous: Why You Should Stop Saving the Good Stuff
Updated: 4 days ago
There is a peculiar little museum in many of our homes.
It houses the good china, the crystal glasses, the expensive perfume we adore but barely wear, or that gorgeous lipstick considered too glamorous for the supermarket, as though the broccoli might complain.
For some reason, all our loveliest things are endlessly waiting for some special occasion that may never arrive.
Meanwhile, we drink tea from an old mug we don’t particularly like, wear the same tired cardigan when we're at home and blindly rush through another day.
But who decided all this was ok?
Because if the lovely things are allowed out only when somebody else comes over, we've accidentally made ourselves the least important guest in our own lives.
And unfortunately darling, Madame cannot possibly endorse that seating arrangement.
What, exactly, are we saving it for?
A birthday? An anniversary? A dinner party at which everyone arrives on time and nobody has time to even notice?
Of course, some things hold special meaning. There is pleasure in keeping a treasured piece for a beloved tradition. But unfortunately “special” has a tendency to become a very convenient word for “never”.
Maybe we'll wear the beautiful dress the next time there's somewhere fancy to go. Or use the lovely china when we have a dinner party. In spite of best intentions, however, it seems we tend to prefer to save our lovely things for the perfect day...that never arrives.
There's always another load of washing, another email to answer, or another mysterious item in the fridge demanding an investigation.
If we wait until life is perfectly arranged before enjoying it, we may be waiting in our sensible shoes for quite some time.
Everyday luxury begins in the cupboard
The phrase everyday luxury can sound rather expensive. One imagines marble bathrooms, hotel slippers and someone called Olivier bringing breakfast.
Lovely, obviously. But not essential.
The good news is, everyday luxury can be something as simple as toast on your favourite plate, fresh sheets, ten uninterrupted minutes with a book, or deciding to wear that beautiful scarf and finally release it from its tissue-paper captivity.
It's the small pleasure you allow yourself while ordinary life is still happening.
You don’t need to buy a fabulous new life, you can begin by enjoying a little more of the one you already have.
Go ahead, open the cupboard. There may already be a very good afternoon in there.
Use the good china. You are company.
Somewhere along the way, we decided that guests deserved the lovely cups and we only deserved the chipped promotional mug.
What an odd little hierarchy!
Try serving your morning tea in a cup you actually love. Put your biscuit on a saucer. Sit down for the first few sips instead of carrying it around while conducting six separate household negotiations.
The washing can survive three minutes without your supervision. It has no ambition.
Using the good china gives an ordinary moment a little ceremony. It says: I’m here. This is pleasant. I intend to notice.
And if you don’t own china, use whatever makes you smile. A favourite pottery mug has every right to the throne.
The point is to choose something you enjoy, then give yourself a moment to enjoy it.
Wear the perfume. Even to the letterbox.
A beautiful bottle of perfume can become a monument to all the evenings we haven’t had.
We admire it. We save it. We occasionally remove the lid and remember that we have excellent taste. Then we put it back.
Darling, wear it.
Wear it on an ordinary morning, if fragrance is your pleasure. Wear it while reading, answering emails or making an entirely unremarkable lunch.
Your day does not need a reservation to deserve something lovely.
There is something quietly delightful about choosing a pleasure that nobody else needs to notice. A favourite scent. A soft scarf. The earrings that catch the light when you turn your head.
You can do it simply because you like it. What a wonderfully sufficient reason!
Put on the lipstick. No event approval required.
There is a particular lipstick that lives in the category of when I’m feeling brave.
Perhaps it is red. Perhaps it is pink. Perhaps it has spent so long in a drawer that it should be paying rent.
If you love it, why not give it an outing?!
You don’t have to become a different woman to wear a stronger colour. You can be exactly yourself, with slightly more interesting lips.
And you certainly don’t owe anybody a polished face. Fabulousness has room for bare skin, lip balm, grey hair, comfortable shoes and the deeply glamorous decision to have a nap.
But when you feel the urge to add a little flourish, resist the automatic question: Is this too much? Try another one.
Trust me darling, the supermarket has survived far more alarming things than a woman in lipstick.
How to romanticise your life without making it another job
To romanticise your life, you don’t need to stage every breakfast for an imaginary magazine.
Frankly, breakfast has enough responsibilities.
You can put the phone down for a few minutes and listen to the music. Open the curtains and notice the light. Drink your water from the lovely glass. Put a cloth napkin beside your Tuesday dinner, even if dinner has arrived in a takeaway container.
Small rituals help us pay attention to pleasures we might otherwise hurry past, but the danger is turning those rituals into another standard we must meet.
It seems that these days the bath has to be photogenic, the flowers must coordinate., and the simple morning routine requires seventeen steps and a small production crew.
Pish posh.
If the little luxury creates more pressure than pleasure, simplify it.
One flower in a jar is enough. One favourite song is enough. A cup of tea enjoyed while sitting down may be quite the social revolution.
Simple ways to feel fabulous today
Start with one thing. Truly, one will do.
Bring out a favourite object. Use the plate, glass, scarf or bag you keep overlooking.
Make an ordinary meal feel considered. Clear a little space, choose a lovely bowl and sit down to eat.
Give yourself five minutes of undivided pleasure. Read a few pages, listen to a song or watch the birds conduct their neighbourhood business.
Wear something for your own delight. Earrings, lipstick, a favourite shirt or gloriously beautiful clothes.
Put beauty where you can see it. Move a treasured photograph, arrange flowers you already have or place a lovely object beside your bed.
Let the pleasure count. Resist immediately justifying it with how productive you’ll be afterwards.
These are simple ways to feel fabulous because they fit inside a real day. A day with appointments, obligations, crumbs and possibly a missing sock.
Affordable little luxuries earn their place by being enjoyable, not impressive.
A lovely life is allowed to look lived in
Of course, the cup might break.
The beautiful scarf might get a mark on it. The lipstick will eventually be used up, but that's the small vulnerability of enjoying things.
Keeping everything untouched offers its own peculiar disappointment: owning lovely things without ever quite experiencing them.
A dinner set may one day be remembered as “the plates we always used when we had tea together”. A favourite fragrance might become part of the memory of an ordinary, happy afternoon.
There is tenderness in that.
Let the good things participate. Let them join the breakfast table, the quiet evenings, the slightly chaotic lunches. They can all have a life alongside yours.
Your invitation to begin
You don’t need a complete reinvention.
You don’t need to become someone who floats through the house in silk, dispensing wisdom and never stepping on a rogue piece of Lego.
You can begin as you are.
Choose one lovely thing you have been saving. Use it today.
Have your tea in the good cup. Wear the perfume. Put on the lipstick. Give yourself a small moment that feels generous.
There will still be chores afterwards. But you will have enjoyed something before attending to them, which seems an entirely reasonable arrangement.
And when that familiar little voice asks, What’s the occasion?
Tell it:
"Me...I'm the occasion., and that will do beautifully."
A little treat from Madame
Begin with Madame’s 7-Day Fabulousness Challenge, a free, one-page printable checklist with one small pleasure for each day.
Use what you already have, tick off your little luxuries and discover which ritual you’d like to keep.
No shopping list. No perfect streak required. Just a lovely excuse to stop saving the good stuff.
Download the free checklist and make today your first fabulous day.
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